I Called It Boundaries: He Called It an Attitude!
- unbelievablebody
- May 4
- 3 min read
Let's get into it - because I'm sipping my tea and still a little spicy about it.
He said....
He said I was "acting funny."
I said I was honoring my peace.
He said I was "distant."
I said I was protecting my energy.
He said I "switched up."
I said, "You aint't paying attention"
And then he hit me with that classic line:
"You got an attitude."
Whew. Let's unpack this suticase, shall we?
When You Grow Up, Your Tolerance Shrinks
Listen. I'm not 23 anymore. I'm moisturized, minding my business, and unbothered -unless you bother me. And that part they don't get.
They want the the curves, the class, the experience -but they don't want to deal with the standards that come with a grown woman. It's cute until you tell them "no." It's sexy until you don't chase. It's fun until you ask them to communicate like a grown-up instead of a half-healed boy with a beard.
Suddenly, you're "difficult."
Here's What Really Happened:
He texted me at 2:08AM.
I replied the next morning at 9:12 AM, after I finished my glow routine. journaled, made tea and sat with myself and meditated.
He responded with:
"Oh you acting funny now?"
No, baby. I'm acting healed.
Let Me Be Clear: I'm Not Mad. I'm Just Not Available.
There's a difference between having an attitude and having boundaries.
An attitude says: "I'm mad because you didn't call."
A boundary says: "I don't entertain inconsistency."
An attitude needs validation.
A boundary needs alignment.
See the difference.
Grown Woman Translation:
I'm not ignoring you, I just don't explain myself twice.
I'm not mean, I just no longer over extend for potential.
I'm not "standoffish," I just learned that access is earned , not assumed.
You mad? Or you just use to women who ain't done the work yet?
Cougarville Rule #12 : If He's Confused By Your Standards He Was Never Your Match
Let's be real - the problem isn't that you're too much. The problem is that he's used to getting away with less. he's used to women who beg for energy. You're just not one of them.
And when you don''t chase, when you don't explain, when you stop bending over backwards for bare minimum behavior - they don't kow how to handle it.
Because you're not yelling. You're not crying.
You're just...moving different.
That's grown woman power. And it terrifies the unready.
The Soft Baddie Era Is About Boundaries, Not Bitterness
Don't get it twisted. I'm still soft. I'm st. ll sensual. I still cook. i still wear perfume to bed. I still slip on the best sexy lingerie just because it's Wednesday. I still laugh with my whole chest and lotion my thighs like they're the prize -because they are. They are the entry way into my access gate.
But baby, I no longer let
people play in my face for fun or leisurely give that access up freely.
If He Can't Respect a Boundary, He Doesn't Deserve the Body.
That's the part.
You want all this softness, all this feminine energy, all this grown woman aura...
But you can't handle a "no?"
You think "I'm busy" is an insult?
No, sir. It's a schedule. And mine is full fo peace.
What I Told Him:
When he hit me with the "you got an attitude" line, I took a long sip of tea and sent him this:
"It's not an attitude. It's alignment. And it's okay if it's not yours."
And just like that...
I chose me.
Velvet Room Vibe Check
Here's your reminder sis:
Boundaries are not punishments. They're protection.
You are not hard to love. You're just not tolerating bare minimum effort.
Silence doesn't mean weakness. It means clarity.
So keep your standards high. Your body oiled. Your peace protected.
And the next time someone says, "You got an attitude?"
Then say:
"No baby...I got options."
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